By Wendy Bolton Floyd and Judy Bolton (snide comments by P2)
1. You can make last-minute plans with your friends and stay out all night if you want.
This is only true if you have other single friends who stay out late
2. You can lie on both sides of your bed and have all the covers to yourself.
This also works when I kick women out of my apartment in the late night hours
3. You can flirt with the opposite sex without someone saying, "Who are you looking at? Who are you looking at?"
True - but I have no alibi when these sexy ladies show up missing the next week
4. You can make your own decisions.
Always have, always will
5. You don't have to remember your significant other's birthday or anniversary.
It helps if you get married to someone on Thanksgiving who has a birthday around that time frame
6. You have no one to clean up after.
You have no one to clean up after you
7. You can leave the toilet seat permanently up if you're a man
That's a little rude - I'll fall in the water (I'm a sitter)
8. You can make a list of things you always wanted to do...and actually do them.
Hawaiian hookers, check!
9. You can listen to your favorite radio station in the car.
If you are in Jenna the Jetta, you listen to what I want NO MATTER WHAT!
10. You can actually hold on to the remote control.
I'll give you that...