An open letter to Baby Henry

Dear Baby Henry:

Welcome to a world of endless wonder and opportunity! It is great to have you here. We have been waiting.

It seems that you are the first girl in many generations. Uncle Kyle, Uncle Matt and I find this very fitting. As you are the perfect genetic blend of the two smartest and funniest people I know, I am confidant that you will already understand why we find this fitting.

Your timing could not have been better actually. We are starting out this new century of ours and could really use your help. About 100 years ago planes were just starting to fly, Lincoln was put on the penny and we were still a good 12 years away from women’s suffrage being recognized in the 19th Amendment. But this century is off to a really good start. The things we face today are much more inclusive in the decision-making process and survival of the fittest really has thinned out a lot of the idiots.

Your mom and dad left for the hospital on a cool spring like evening in the middle of watching Curtis Granderson and the Detroit Tigers beat the Boston Red Sox 10 to 9. It was a really important win in a series of losses. But they never gave up, and neither should you.

Here is the game plan. Over the next 18 years we need you to study hard even if it comes easy to you. Next, you have to go to college. I know, I know, but it’s a subsection of the 28th Amendment, your dad can explain.

After you go to college, you have to spend a year in another country. You may not want to leave the greatest country in the world, but it will help you appreciate things more. It also looks great on a resume.

A great career and the third best man you will ever meet in your life (after your dad, grandpa and me) will find you and love you like no one else ever could.

Next, you have a daughter of your own. It will be magical and beautiful. And she will know that you love her even if you do get mad that she is nearly a week over-due.

Since I have your life planned and set before you here, the only thing left for you to do is enjoy as much of it as you can.

All our hopes and dreams are with you…


P.S. Watch out for the black cat, it still has claws and the orange one bites.